My name is Nandeeta R. I am from India, but was adopted and raised in Oregon, USA. I wear many hats from artist to outdoor adventurer to activist for multiple causes. I enjoy being creative, traveling, and trying new foods.
Some people receive a heads up that alcoholism may run in their family, but being an adoptee I was not as fortunate and found out the hard way. Alcohol affected me for six years, but that was because I found my rock bottom at the age of 25. I got sober at a young age and I've lived an alcohol free life since 2013.
Alcohol was my escape from reality. Many people are affected by trauma and reach for whatever vice to cope with those deep emotional wounds. I did that and spiraled down a path of destruction, but thankfully figured it out before it was too late. I was finally sick and tired of being sick and tired. I crawled out of this dark pit and slowly over time the light became brighter. It is possible to face these wicked traumatic wounds, but it takes work and consistency. At the end of the day it has been worth it for me.
Judge Andre & I
My relationship with alcohol began at 19 when my dad passed away. I was close to him and didn’t know how else to cope. In the beginning of my drinking I went from being a shy wallflower to a social butterfly. This liquid courage eventually turned into crossing that line into alcoholism. I became horrible to be around. I had a wake up call on my dad’s five year anniversary; I drank myself into a blackout and woke up in the hospital with a BAC of .234. I quit drinking off and on for a year and half until I finally hit rock bottom. I totaled my car from drinking and driving. I went to court and paid the consequences; restricted license, probation, breathalyzer installed in vehicle, and jail time. Jail was my rock bottom. I couldn’t believe that alcohol was the reason I arrived at my lowest. Getting sober was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. I don’t want to get sober again! I connected to a community of people that were part of a 12 step program for a sober lifestyle. It was difficult because I was 25 and that’s prime time drinking age, but I knew that I couldn’t take much more of this exhaustion.
In my first three years of recovery from alcoholism I relied on that group. I needed discipline, structure, guidance, and friendship. I received that and more, but reached a point when I wanted to explore my recovery without the dependence of a sobriety group. I sought outside mental health services to help me in the areas of my life that required more professional assistance. I have been living that way ever since. My recovery may not look like yours but that’s okay. I learned years ago that you must allow people the dignity of their own journey.
My healing journey has had highs and lows that have taken me to places I never would have dreamt of. This is all due to my effort, time, and work I’ve put into myself in the past few years. I’m not the same person I was six months and ago and I won’t be the person I am now in six months, but that makes me happy. I evolve and grow deeper into this person I am. After breaking away my hard outer shell, I can access this place that holds love and light. I’ve lived in hate, pain, and darkness most of my life. It has been wonderful to see how far I’ve come and how open I am about my different trials and tribulations I’ve endured. I have a mental health team, a close circle of friends, my self care regimen, and an open mind and heart.
Thanks for reading,